What is self-esteem? It’s our confidence in ourselves and in our abilities.  Do you have high self-esteem? What do you think of yourself really? Take a moment. A good indication of what you really think about you is how you feel when you receive negative feedback or are rejected in some way. It’s much easier to feel confident when days go smoothly and you achieve all the things you have put on your ‘to do’ list or when you receive praise or are thanked for what you have done.

How we handle setbacks, disappointments or downright failure tells us a lot about ourselves. In fact I’d say there is real value in developing awareness about your responses in those kinds of situations. Are you someone who takes the criticism or failure, feels their feelings, processes them, learns the lessons and then gets back up undaunted? Or, are you crushed, do you spend hours playing over the scenario in your mind, feel anxious and in all likelihood have a bad night’s sleep?

Depending on how you answered this gives you some big clues to your self-esteem. Our self-esteem, what we think about ourselves, makes a massive difference in how our lives play out, the levels of success, happiness and the quality of our relationships, it touches every aspect. If you have times when you really don’t rate yourself, or beat yourself up then I’d like to suggest the following ways you can develop your self worth.

Be your own cheerleader

All change starts with awareness. First of all catch your ‘self-talk’; in a difficult situation what are you saying to yourself? What kinds of thoughts are running through your mind? Think about how you would talk to a family member or a friend – you’d be supportive and kind, you would encourage them and comfort them as best you could. Treat yourself that way. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging your shortcomings or admitting the mistake but find the gift in the situation; what could you have done differently? Taking this approach means that you learn something from the experience rather than use it to make yourself feel defeated and worthless.

“Be careful of your moods and feelings, for there is an unbroken connection between your feelings and your visible world.” Neville Goddard (New Thought Author)

Keep a success list

We’re all more than familiar with ‘to do’ lists and when we focus so much on what we have ‘to do’ it’s very easy to overlook our achievements, they somehow get pushed into the background. Take an inventory of your successes, they may be small and easy to overlook so start to write these down on a daily basis. It’s important to acknowledge your wins in life, its empowering and you start to gain a more realistic perspective and start to feel good about yourself.

Exercise

It doesn’t matter what form this takes it might be swimming, taking a brisk walk or a full-blown work-out at the gym, find some form of exercise that you enjoy. Moving our bodies lifts our mood, changes our state. If you are familiar at all with Tony Robbins you will know that he places huge emphasis on attaining what he refers to as a peak state. Exercise releases endorphins which are natural mood elevators and when we feel better we think more positively, more creatively and when we are thinking and feeling better we do things differently. Also simply by taking care of our health and our bodies we are saying that we value ourselves; we are worth it.

Become the star of your own movie

Be the star of your own show and less focused on what other people are doing. It’s especially easy with social media to become preoccupied with the lives others are leading. If you are susceptible to this limit your time on social media – it’s potentially a huge drain on your time anyway and if it doesn’t make you feel good then kick the habit. It’s a tool, a valuable tool but only if used appropriately.

There is only one you in the world, and you are in the real world not a virtual world; you are unique, you matter. There’s a saying; we teach others how to treat us and if we don’t treat ourselves well that sends out a massive signal to others. Make sure you’re sending out the right signals.

Let me know how you build yourself up – I’d love to hear your thoughts.