Given the opportunity we are creatures of habit, in the main we like routine and structure, we are comfortable with it, it feels safe. Much of life can be habitual, the repeated behaviours or thinking that over time become automated, activity without consciously thinking.  When we were learning to drive there was so much to think about, the gear changes, how to control the clutch in combination with the accelerator,  applying the brakes with the right pressure, mirror, signal, manoeuvre; it was overwhelming, but with time and practice it became easier, and any of us who have been driving for any length of time probably now drive so naturally and easily we don’t even think about it.

And that is the nub; habits are behaviours that we don’t even think about, until they become a problem and we want to change them.  We may for years have hit the snooze button and found mornings a struggle but everything we read tells us that how we start the day is key to our success and happiness, surely that is something worth getting out of bed for?  How do we unpick that programming?

For anyone who has tried and failed to change a habit we know that willpower is not enough.  Think of those new year’s resolutions where we promised ourselves to make changes.  The potential for change, if only we can harness it can lead to incredible life changing results, like getting in shape after years of couch potatoism, (I know that isn’t a word), doing your first triathlon aged 50+ (yes we have someone in our network who did just that), developing a successful business, learning languages, writing books, raising large sums of money for charity, all I’m sure you’ll agree worthy pursuits elevating our self-esteem, our skills and happiness.

So how do we install new habits that lead us to positive changes moving us in the direction of where we say we want to go?

1. First off turn it into a positive, rather than telling yourself you’re giving something up which immediately makes you feel deprived and sets you up for failure; be your own best friend and use your self-talk in a way that is going to support you in your change. So instead of saying ‘I’m going to give up pouring myself a glass of wine when I stop work’  replace that with a behaviour and supportive self-talk that makes you feel good, such as ‘I’m going to mark the end of my day instead with a walk with xx  or by calling a friend, or fill in the blank _______. 
2. Commit to some discipline. There’s varying data around how long it takes to install a new habit some say 21 days but newer research suggests it takes 66 days.  It may sound like a long time but in the grand scheme of our lives isn’t committing to something that can have far reaching positive effects worth it?  By way of comfort the early days are generally the hardest and it does get easier. Each day you succeed builds your confidence and your motivation to continue.  With each passing day you feel better about yourself.
3. Be accountable to someone you trust for this new behaviour.  If we tell someone of our plan for change we are more likely to stick to it, none of us likes to admit defeat, we may even ask them to keep help us stay on track particularly in the early stages.
4. Reward yourself.  Decide on some milestones around your new behaviour and set up a reward system.  It’s an extremely personal thing so create some rewards that are meaningful for you.
5. Make the activity daily, consistency is key.
6. Start small if you are migrating from an ‘eat what I want approach’ to vegan it might be better to start by introducing more fruit and vegetables into your diet and cutting out fast foods on the path to your new lifestyle. Be realistic.
7. Forget perfectionism – it’s the enemy of positive change.  

In Brene Brown’s ‘Daring Greatly’ she talks about the distinction between healthy striving and perfectionism.  She discusses the importance of self-compassion and quotes Grethen Rubin author of The Happiness Project who says, 

“I remind myself, don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good (cribbed from Voltaire). A twenty minute walk that I do is better than the four-mile run that I don’t do. The imperfect book that gets published is better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer. The dinner party of take-out food is better than the elegant dinner that I never host.”

Wise words. I’d love to know how you get on and any of your own tips for making positive change.